Shove greens in mouth

(Because “salad” is too generous a name for this)

Tear a bunch of lettuce leaves into chunks
Add olive oil, salt, pepper (a paper plate is helpful for this step) Shove in mouth

Can add olives, leftover chicken, parmesan cheese, etc.

Artisan lettuce heads from ALDI (wilts less quickly than most storebought lettuce because the rooty thing is still attached) (good variety of texture and taste)